In order to settle the estate, all outstanding bills and dues that the How To Express Sympathy: What To Say And What Weve compiled a list of things to sayand things to avoid sayingwhen A Quick Overview Of Proper Funeral Etiquette. Need Immediate Service? A notice would either state the hour and location of the service, which would mean that it would be appropriate for you to attend if you wished, or it would indicate if the service is private. Many make allowances for the cremation to take place but the Hindu funeral rites may be executed on-site. (n.d.). I will be attending the funeral of a Hindu colleague. It may work for a coworker or friend who has lost their spouse. The person who made the comment might not have meant badly, but wrongful words and actions can cause a lot of hurt in these delicate situations. During subsequent visits, suggestions can be offered, but only when sought by the family. No two families and no two deaths are the same; it is therefore a pointless exercise. The coffin is generally open, and guests are expected to look upon the body and be seated in the room for the service, which is conducted by a priest or a senior member of the family. Dr. Vasudha Narayanan, Professor of Religion at the University of Florida and. Visitors must realize that none of these questions would bring the person back; there is no second chance in death. This short message gets to the essence of the Hindu faith in just a few short words. By merely being there, listening and taking care of the details, you'll undoubtedly be a great help to her during this sad time. Determining the best time to contact the bereaved generally depends on your relationship to the bereaved or the person who died. The wake is usually reserved just for family members. If this cultural shift is your cousins history, it might be appropriate to mention that distinction to honor them both after offering condolences. In all branches of Hinduism, family plays a key role in helping their loved one prepare for their death and rebirth. After the mourning period, it is appropriate to visit the deceaseds family at their place. We believe reflecting on our mortality can help us lead more meaningful lives. We'll help you get your affairs in order and make sure nothing is left out. what to say to someone who has experienced a death, How to Express Sympathy: What to Say and What Not to Say. Cremation rituals may vary in different places. Can you tell me what exactly happened? A thoughtful gift which allows the name of the deceased to be mentioned will provide long-lasting comfort to the family. 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Examples are I am sorry for your loss, We are here to help in any way that we can, I will check back on you tomorrow, I am just a phone call away. While visiting, people tend to get drawn into conversations unrelated to the bereavement, at times even catching up on gossip. Amy Wolkenhauer, BA in English/Creative Writing, https://www.indiatoday.in/information/story/deepest-condolence-messages-very-helpful-in-grief-1657386-2020-03-19, Hindu death traditions, rituals & beliefs. To upgrade your account, please visit the account upgrades page. Below, well use this concept in offering messages for the loss of a child. Visitors are expected to bring fruit. It is customary and appropriate to visit the family at home, especially during the days following the funeral. Certain Hindus may choose to remain at home during the mourning period and not visit the temple. Letting the bereaved know that you are thinking of him or her and that you care can mean a lot. 12. Saraff, Anjula & Srivastava, Harish. Because of the short cremation time, there is no requirement for embalming. Traditionally, the Hindu mourning period ranges from 10 to 30 days. There will be things to be done at the home, such as taking care of guests or handling phone calls. After this cremation ceremony, a reception at the familys place may happen. And there are loved ones who suffer from their loss. The nominations for the 93rd Academy Awards will be announced on March 15. However, mourners can check with the funeral director or family for finding out whats appropriate for that particular funeral. However, the following brief and simple condolences will let the grieving family know you care: We are sober, we are really sad about his sudden departure, May the Creator accept our prayers on his behalf. Leaving footwear outside is part of local culture in India, and is a respectful gesture in this context. Blaming the family for not doing enough. If we are not familiar with the deceaseds family, it is better to introduce ourselves and verify the identity of key family members before proceeding to offer condolences. Whats regionally accepted in Southern India, for example, may not be appropriate or even standard in the North. With that, parents will often go to great lengths to ensure the success of their families. When one is in the cycle of rebirth, you would ask God to give momentum to the soul because the Hindu journey is ultimately to reach God. They cannot visit the family shrine and are not allowed to enter any sacred place, such as a temple. Her startling determination to do exactly the opposite, was amazing.". LinkedIn. Hare Krishna. Funeral Mass (Requiem) is performed in a Catholic church by a priest. Because people will be standing, it is customary to keep the ceremony brief. A Hindu death ritual comprises of three parts: So, the actual funeral takes place at the deceaseds home, although actual events can be considered a wake according to western standards because of its short span. Incidentally, it is perfectly acceptable not to cry, as each person processes grief differently. If you decide you want to do it, then write your talk from your heart. If there is a line waiting to see the family, keep your thoughts and comments brief. Everyone in this community respected your father. After that, the body has to be cremated. As a general rule, the closer your relationship to the bereaved, the sooner you should contact him or her. During the thirteen-day period of mourning following the death, the presence of friends and family helps create positive karma to help prepare the soul for its next incarnation. It is often a custom and part of the Hindu death ritual for the family to share a meal together and offer prayers for the departed, themselves and their house. Medical decision making is among the most complex tasks known to man; and not all decisions lead to a positive outcome, although taken in good faith. It is also appropriate to visit the home of the family to offer comfort and support. Some friends have the knack for hitting all the right notes and saying all of the right things. This depends on personal preferences. It is a common slip-up for people to assume that sharing their own religious beliefs would bring solace to the bereaved family. Here are some thoughts and guidelines when considering a personal visit at the funeral home: Upon arrival, go to the family and express a simple condolence. After that, the body is moved to the cremation place from the home, where the cremation ceremony takes place. eCondolence.com, LLC | Copyright 2023. Some people have the knack for amplifying or worsening the existing sorrow by dropping pessimistic remarks such as Ohshe was so young, she had her whole life ahead of her!, How sad it is for her children! When in doubt, silence is the best option. With this in mind, here are a few ideas for what to write in a sympathy note after losing a friend. Those can include: During these thirteen days, the family and friends of the deceased are given the freedom to express their grief rather than keep it bottled up inside. India Today Web Desk, I. In Gujarati families, there is a belief that the departed soul rests on the rooftop of the house observing everything for the next 13 days. Everyone has to wear white, including the family members and guests. If a Hindu, they can participate in the chanting of mantras. At a Hindu funeral, the deceased body is kept in an open casket. Surinder taught his children to live with intent and to be good ancestors. Doing away with anything that suggests we are arriving at a party is sensible. Atma is beyond space and time. The family should be consulted about any jewellery and religious symbols that need to be left in place. Who else would she like to have involved as eulogists, readers or ushers? Please Click Here on how you can do that. A Hindu priest is an officiant, who presides over all Hindu funeral rites. It is better to dress conservatively. JavaScript is disabled. Additionally, they are not to touch or go near the family shrine. One should not send flowers or gifts to the Hindu funeral. Just as It is all part of Gods plan might not go down well with an atheist, He will soon be reborn into a more beautiful life can be hugely offending to someone who doesnt believe in rebirth. The dos as well as the donts are important. After all, some of the wisest people can almost convey a book in a matter of a sentence. 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Usually, Hindu funerals take place within a single day and sometimes, two days after the deaths time. Get a signed copy of the NEW Emily Post's Etiquette Centennial edition, and support Vermont's independent bookstores. Will it be a private or open service? The fees for the advice of an attorney should not be compared to the fees of do-it-yourself online
Also, there may be a Hindu funeral ceremony called shraddha that usually takes place after 10 days from the death. Customs vary by tradition, but are conducted by a local priest and involve prayers, scripture readings and chanting. eCondolence.com, LLC | Copyright 2023. Support the family with thoughtful and appropriate Hindu sympathy meals, baskets and memorials. At Hindu funerals, mourners should not wear anything black. Chances are youll know this about your friends familial history enough to gauge an appropriate message based on his upbringing. Unexpected death, especially of the violent type can result in an emotionally supercharged situation, requiring us to tread very carefully to avoid offending anyone. Please, search or browse our comprehensive online etiquette articles. The rituals will reflect a time of service and mourning, showing the familys dedication to Hindu teachings, beliefs about death, and honoring the memory of the deceased. His commitment to creating a better world was apparent in every project he started. While visiting the bereaved, our focus should remain completely on the departed, and the grieving family. Close with warm words, such as "With deepest sympathy." 6. This link will open in a new window. Weather conditions, circumstances and setting of the funeral, and religious and cultural traditions may affect the choices for clothing made. He seemed fine when I saw him last week! Did you check her cholesterol? What did the first ECG show? Was he wearing a helmet? When was her last chemo? are but a few examples of such unwarranted questions. However, often, a Hindu priest is asked to perform theantyeshti(funeral rites). If you are a close friend or relative: Call or text immediately, find a time to visit the bereaved at home, and continue to stay in touch on a daily basis. 13. For a parent, sons and daughters are equally precious. people will avoid going to the deceased house. Drop her a note periodically, or even an e-mail, to let her know you're thinking of her. Hare Krishna. You can also include a poem, passage or anything else you feel reflects your friend's life.