Might I suggest a they or a xie, my friend. a s h l e y. 76 Best Replies and Answers to How Are You Doing? - Trending Us DP: As you know, [ note, I do not know ] I need someone to [ renew my library book | paint my bathroom | walk my parakeet | clean my cat litter ] and I hoped you might help. And because family members pitch in. Thats just the question it looks like. Ive had good luck with, Fantastic! because no matter what is happening to me, I am still fantastic in various ways. What did _you_ have in mind?. I wish that just once I had the wherewithal to respond to a manipulative invitation like LW describes with the classic Phoebe Buffet line: Oh, I wish I could, but I dont want to.. It feels like a lot of just Use Your Words advice is setting people up for a shock when they realize that their coworkers or acquaintances are offput by it. This way Im letting them know why in the same breath, and giving them a potential out. I like your point that it does actually give people the outyouve put it in their minds that they can say Im busy., Its what I dothough I often try to say the thing first (Want to go to a movie? For example, while my wife and I are paying with a credit card after having Saturday morning breakfast, and while the receipt is printing out, the cashier will say, So, you guys got any good plans for the weekend?. Born and bred in southern California, how are you? asked of/by a stranger functions, for me, like any scripted greeting, pretty comparable to an all right with or without the interrogative in that a detailed (or even particularly honest) response is not expected and in many cases wont be acknowledged because it wont be heard (because no one is listening for it). Is it OK to invite the usual people? How are you? Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you?" Table of contents: I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside Can't Complain. Funny, But True Weekend Quotes That Will Make You LOL So Hard Your family is going to judge you for any serious answer you give anyway, so you might as well beat them to the criticism. Same as being busy all the time rather than saying, No, I dont want to hang out. Its the more broad-scope? HUGE, HUGE, HUGE numbers of parents of adult children pull this exact same rude little stunt, and its designed to make the adult child respond to powerful guilt buttons installed by the parent and capitulate to what the parent wants, because the adult child is programmed to believe if they dont have a good enough excuse, they have to go attend on the parent at the time in question. I read that post all the time. 4. But in the age of smart phones I also find Im going to have to check my email before I say yes to that, so let me get back to you helpful. Another interesting look at how varied cultural/regional norms and peoples own experiences can be. Culture or not, Im very sympathetic to people who have a hard time saying no, since that used to be me. Basically, I dont think people are trying to be manipulative and I do think youre overthinking this, OP. Ive had trouble with that one, too. But most of all, thats my time with my kids, and Ive realized that Im missing it. They may just be an indirect communicator, and Hey, want to go have dinner might feel too abrupt without any conversational preamble. Since the question what are you doing this weekend? has, like, 18 possible meanings, many of which *can* involve power plays, it just breaks my brain. 'Hope You're Well': Emailing Through a Time of Pandemic Call me. Does *your* phone not work? 12 Best Answers to "How's Your Day Going?" - Grammarhow ), its pure formula. hours of 8 p.m. and 1 a.m. on Friday and Saturday because it will make you seem like you don't have anything better to do on the weekend. In my case its also true (OH is much better at executive function than me). I do want to clarifyI miswrote: if my daughter says she needs to take some mental health time and thats why she cant spend an hour helping me w/ a family project, thats not fallout worthshes busy. Because people look forward to the weekend, they often start talking about it as early as Wednesday. Nothing very interesting. Person A: Im fine. I dislike being asked this question too, except in my case its more that I dont want to be asked this question by coworkers, ever. Funny Bumble Answers #3: Rebel Without A Cause This answer is funny because it paints a picture in the woman's mind of a rebel, even in his youth. Here are some days you can disappointedly shake your head at and postpone the event until some hazy future date when a Wednesday sees you free. Theres also nothing wrong with the sitting alone in the dark rocking back and forth, it just seemed a good description of the void my mother thinks no plans equals. I am admittedly very sensitive to potential power issues, so I have a hard time seeing when theyre really there and when Im just reacting as though they are. I was taught that if you are actually inviting people for something, its rude to do it by asking them what theyre doing that night first, because it traps them without a believable excuse for saying no. The pushback on needing brain time though makes sense. The fact that LW is this bugged about it shows theres a problem and the parent is being manipulative. It is perfectly ok to want some calm alone time or time with a cat watching Winter Olympics (that is actually great, our cats especially seem to love skiing) and no-one else really needs to know. I know theyre just trying to be friendly but it gets exhausting that starting Wednesday I have to deal with so what are you up to this weekend and then AGAIN on Monday what did you do this weekend? (So I guess Tuesday is the only day safe from that question, ha. Ive been loving all your responses on this thread. What are you up to this weekend? is an absolutely normal question and learning to use it is not a failure of yourself. The Im entitled to your assistance is the MINOR part of this.). Catching up on sleep, doing chores, spending time with my partner. Theres also (Rememberif she had specific other plans, thats a reasonable excuse. If someone just says yeah that tells me theyre not actually that interested. What are you doing?, Unless Im doing something unusual, its true; its wonderfully vague and gives no information; and I get to immediately turn the question back on the asker (which often leads to a better conversation anyway.). Certain relatives. Im in my 20s and married, living away from home, but I feel like Im constantly playing tug-a-war with my parents and were fighting over boundaries. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" that will make people laugh It happens, even, as above, to straight white cis etc. (Like, Im the kind of introvert who is good with people but I know a few who are just exhausting and who drain my battery super quickly), Could you have a conversation with her about, Were gonna have to schedule when all of our kids are walking to school. How Are You Doing? How to Introduce Yourself in English But I dont think you can compare me to your dad. Oh thanks capn for the hilarious answers!!! I find that are you doing anything interesting this weekend? can come across as less pressuring than what are you doing this weekend? Not only does it focus the question onto peoples hobbies/interests, but the answer no, not really doesnt automatically mean that someone is free. Its okay that I dont want to tell my coworkers the details of what Im reading and I get to choose who I want to share details of my life with. @TootsNYC Just wanted to say that I really like the phrasing you spell out in your first comment, in that youre acknowledging that youre making a request for your daughters time and effort. How odd to be on both sides of this! An alternative then is to actually mention the fact that you are sending them an email. It is handy because it has a friendly tone of I dont want to go into detail while still participating in the conversation. To those who suggested building better boundaries with my family: Good advice. What Will You Do This Weekend? - englishforums.com Most of those projects and research were for fanfiction. There is a normal-question-asking prosody, where the words get successively higher in pitch. Then they use your answer to decide if you're the sort of person who gets to join their clan and engage in merriment and shenanigans on a regular basis. I was never taught that was the correct answer. Youll all be healthier and live longer if they learn some manners in how they treat you. What he sounds like to me is the dweebs in engineering school who would pull this routine. Just looking for my phonehave you seen it? Its just in the past year or so that its cropped up repeatedly, with different people at different establishments. That doesnt make it okay. Thats the way to go. Here are some fun things to do on weekends: Get Moving 1. If the emphasis is on you its just a greeting. And they tend to be very very very sure of what counts as racism (nothing they do/say, of course), with an overlay of you should be grateful I am nice to you to wrap it all up. The one my family goes with is Surviving. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. You'll hear it regularly in speech, and people actually might think it sounds funny/wrong to say "Well.". LW specifically said that LW is not bothered by this in peer-friends. And maybe just dont think of the flip side where the question could potentially add more pressure. Just how I like it :). So when I get a what are you doing after work Friday? text halfway through work on Thursday just tell me what youre going to suggest in the same message. Not making it a big moan-y you alwaaays ask that! just an in the moment, you know were close enough that we dont have to do this dance sort of thing. Its okay if I dont want to share the details of what Im reading with coworkers. OMG yes! Well see you at other times but this ones for us.. Three-day weekends would be perfect if they were just four days longer. Me: Working. When I was a teen or an adult who looked like a teen, I was very fond of, Ill have to ask my mother. I had as little to do with my mother as possible at the time, but I noticed this response was great at making creepy guys shrivel up and slink off. I feel like its asking me to say yes or no to an invitation / commitment before I even know what it is (like, if youre having a party I might be free, but my babysitting quota is full for the month so no to that). Oh you want to invite me to happy hour [with a bunch of colleagues I hate when theyre sober let alone when theyre drunk]? Why? I grew up in the Guessiest Guess household ever my mother once quit a job because they said they liked her work so much that theyd like her to do more shifts, and she was angry at being put in the position of having to say no so I didnt come out of childhood equipped with much of a toolbox for saying no assertively. Sometimes, answering a question with a question is the best strategy. I automatically ask this without thinking about it pretty often. They may be angling to invite you somewhere. My daughter is also struggling with brainweasels and getting a job. Im trying to train her out of the habit. Early on in dating the boything, he would ask what I was doing that night in a way that made me think it was small talkso Id say oh, Im working on [project] probably, or I might just have an early night. And then he would assume I wasnt free, whereas if he would have said hey do you want to have dinner? I would have been on board. I make a special point to not do that, not even if the thing Im asking for help with is sort of non-negotiable. They were being blunt and probably didnt realize the pressure I felt to say yes to direct requests, and didnt understand why I felt hurt when, upon working up the courage to ask for something directly, it was turned down. Im self employed so I can realistically be working at any time and date. Its a lot easier (for me anyway) to answer when I know what Im answering. Which sometimes was fine but not always. Or something. But it can still be frustrating to deal with. He doesnt need to be that nosy about how you spend your time. See also, sometimes when someone is rude or difficult, I will pretend they said something nice or appropriate and respond with a total non-sequitur. If you both talk about what to do in the garden (I know you probably dont own one, its an example), is it a conversation like I want to plant radishes Well, I want to plant flowers Fine, then we plant one half with flowers of your choice and one half with radishes and everyone waters everything? OK, you want to ASK if hell help you w/ your home maintenance, fine, but these are not HIS chores anymore. Theres still room for her to refuse. Im asking because you absolutely will pay for it in terms of impacts on the long-term relationship with the person she will become. That's why you should remember these funny responses to "what are you going to do with your life" for the next time the question pops up: If you have no idea what degree you're going to get or where you want to live in the future, pretend that you have something big planned, but don't want to ruin the surprise. Everyone knows most people mean it well, its small talk, etc but these things ARE not nice to be the receiver of. But Im willing to bet that LW knows that, and the reason he/she feels annoyed with the people asking it in his/her life are because theres a pattern and something bigger at work like maybe people trying to get him/her to do stuff, or, as he/she noted, people who want to hang out, but with him/her doing all the planning work. Ask back? If the reason for you that you daughter should help you at X time with X thing is because family, is the reverse also true? One of the costs of challenging social rules is that it makes it harder for people to learn them. Indoor Cat raised some good points. Rather than rushing to respond, taking the time to understand what they mean can improve the quality of your response. But sometimes its manipulative, as LW also said. Plus they have the freedom to say Nah, cant on Saturday, but Im free Friday or whatever. You can change "because you have kids" to a variety of things, depending on whom you're talking to. Lessons in Love from Julia Roberts Movies true tho like next t inme ill say this and it will. If Im bothered by the question, I usually answer back with why ? or why do you ask ?. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". It doesnt sound like a lot of fun to me, though. E- Enjoying. "I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally. 150+ Funny and Witty Answers to the Question "How Are You?" So the next time your phone rings you will be prepared.
20 Rules And Regulations Of A Boarding House, Cherokee County Ks Police Scanner, Contrast Paints Over Leadbelcher, Mesa Airline Flight Attendant Uniform, How To Beat An Aquarius Man At His Own Game, Articles F