So if your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression, dont immediately assume that his only issue is his mental health. My heart is broken. You need to look at signs of depression in order to know whether hes depressed or not. If his view of you changed, he might not as hell date other people. She was always tired, feeling irritated, and i occupied a smaller and smaller space in her mind amongst all her problems and stressful and depressive thoughts, even though i tried my best to make her better and happier, but she felt more distant everyday, being colder and colder. When your partner is suffering from depression, he or she does not have a control that could be exercised voluntarily to stop the symptoms. I want back what we had. Because they ran out of energy, they just take the blame and make it seem like their partners have nothing to do with their loss of feelings even though they know thats not the case. Tell him how his behaviors are affecting the relationship and most importantly ruining your mental condition. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Its unlikely that hell come back just because hell deal with depression. That way, youll exude high levels of self-control and show him that you understand what hes going through and that you truly care about him. There are a lot of stories here about the break up because of the depression (thank you so much to everyone for sharing) but does anyone have a bit more perspective on how these situations actually evolve? So dont think that hell run back to you the moment he feels better. At first, we were just casually talking, learning about each others, spending time together everyday, for quite a while and so we basically were friend, best friends. Dont let yourself get caught up in their diagnosis, enjoy the relationship as you would with any other one. 2023 Remedy Health Media, LLC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. and would complain about everything in his life. They cant just fix everything they need to fix because they think their exes are a big part of their issues. By no means does this happen all the time as many relationships work even when both people in the relationship are depressed. Do you think its the depression and anxiety talking as to why he broke up with me? You can tell them you are sorry it didnt work out, and let them. I Feel Depressed Since My Partner Broke Up With Me Going through a breakup can be challenging, and you may feel many intense emotions when your partner leaves you. In my heart though there is a very big hole. Your blog & articles truly helps me find my way during these tough times. I knew he was depressed, but he didnt want to admit it for a while. The phase is so dark that he would end up accepting the fact that he has never loved you ever. Copyright OptimistMinds 2023 | All Rights Reserved. He is my best friend, my love, my everything. And although that is the case, the most commons symptoms of depression are: Depression can have a big impact on a persons relationship. Should I message him in a few weeks asking how hes doing? I told him a week ago that i accept that he needs to be alone to figure himself out and that all I can say is that "i love you and want to be with you." From the article above, the topic My depressed boyfriend broke up with me is discussed. Hell try to be happy for a while and will feel like he is. This can happen if they dealt with what was going in with them, and still have feelings for you. Your boyfriend is this little thing we call.. Bipolar. You should know: The answer above provides general health information that is not intended to replace medical advice or treatment recommendations from a qualified healthcare professional. He also had mentioned his friends not to tell me or his family about this suicidal attempt. And thats what he does because running away lifts the burden of too many responsibilities and provides him with a sense of relief. It's run by a man, John Folk-Williams, who has lived through this himself. What is way more important than your relationship is your partners health. He could be so selfish and inconsiderate to the point that he did hurt me with his actions, but I always put it down to his own trauma. Ive seen this happen many times and its honestly very sad. When you try to understand and comprehend your partner, it is very important to be compassionate and gentle. He would say he is stressed, not able to sleep. Does he still talk to you or at least try to. He may not necessarily come back to you for love because he might not let go of old perceptions of you. The only way through this is to be honest with him about how you feel without attributing blame. And if you dont want to spend time together, why be in a relationship with the person? I made the decision to leave the relationship, I didnt want to, but I didnt want to add to his stress and having to worry about pleasing me. My Depressed Boyfriend Broke Up With Me And Feels He Needs To Be Alonehow Do I Show Him That We Can Be Together? His dad bullys and even choked him, constantly makes him feel like hes not enough. Hey, thank you for everything you have written, reading your messages makes me realise that I am not alone in this and there are other people living the exact same thing ! I supposed telling the truth would make them feel even more depressed as theyd hurt their partners and bring a strong undesirable reaction out of them. Boyfriend mention to me he didnt want to go to see his granddaughter because he didnt have the energy. She would be stuck in her bed sleeping all day long, waking up to study, work, eat, then sleep. It might be good to start considering what to do in the future about this relationship. Heres how you can tell if your ex-boyfriend is telling the truth. So we broke up. Its not uncommon to get blindsided by a depressed boyfriend. I understand why the break up happened because he has too many things to deal with. He is going to therapy. So stay in no contact, get therapy, and do your best to get over your ex. Continue with Recommended Cookies, Home Relationships My boyfriend is depressed and broke up with me (+ Understanding what happens), As a BetterHelp affiliate, we may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided. But he isnt doing that. This whole time I thought we were endgame so I am devastated and was so blind sighted. Along with that, the article explained how a person can cope with a breakup. I miss him with everything I have and just a week ago I was so happy and now it all feels so bad, Im going through the exact same thing. Said all the things Ive read here like its really not you and I just need to be by myself. He told me exactly this I cant do this anymore, Ive hit my lowest point. The first thing is people become dishonest. I think it might give you some good insight into what's going on with your boyfriend. Shes turning 20 this June, shes quite young and have to experience and live all of this. She said she doesnt love me the same way as before, that she doesnt feel happy anymore. I dont want to lose him forever, I love him so much and I just wish I could help him :((((( please help if you can. He probably wants to distract himself so he doesnt see any reminders of you. maybe we can talk privately? He has not responded to any of my texts or phone messages. I just dont know how I can help him because when I did go see him & call him even after the breakup, he didnt pick up my calls or reply to my messages. But he almost doesnt realize it. I know from reading the articles that his decision to leave wasnt just impulsive and despite his reasons for leaving being that he doesnt love me anymore or see a future I believe its down to depression. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. He could come back after hes overcome depression but dont count on it. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Continue with Recommended Cookies, The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Other than genetic inheritance, an individuals experiences,environment and perceptions plays an important part as well. going thru this right now.. a week in today and non contact with him im so sad and confused but also cant even begin to imagine what HE is going through this is really hard for me. Im just so confused as the best way to be with him if it is depression. Its brought me a lot of strength and hope as Im going through the same thing recently. A dog or a cat will likely provide you with more comfort and security than someone who finds it excruciatingly painful to help his or her partner get through a difficult time. I could sleep and eat better now and could enjoy movie/books. She would text me less, we would spend less time together, she would not reply to me and ignore me, more and more as days passed. You need to. My boyfriend broke up with me a couple weeks agohe suffers from depression and anxiety. If your ex-boyfriend decided to protect himself from getting hurt, you should too. Use of this website is conditional upon your acceptance of our User Agreement. Her 5 roomates that shares the house werent there at all, and due to covid some of them had to cancel the lease, so she ended up paying more bills than she planned before moving. I also found out that he had stopped medication prior to the breakup because he felt like they werent working as he has started getting suicidal thoughts again (he has also written suicidal notes recently, however Im not sure if this is true or not). Because of the pain thats been hurting you for weeks, youre starting to project your unhappiness onto your boyfriend. Your partner did not choose to be in depression, remember that. Depression sometimes puts additional weight on a relationship and makes the couple struggle to stay emotionally connected. Mental health professionals specialized in the field of romantic relations are the ones who will help both of you cope with the situation and derive a solution. Hes just relieved and elated and is going through the stages of a breakup for the dumper. Your partner did not choose to be in depression, remember that. They leave their partners at their worst and run off to enjoy their lives to the fullest. But i am so heartbroken. As a human, a good friend, a well wisher please help them rather than making them feel they are responsible for the breakup. It often consists of unexpressed emotions that build up over time. The rearing environment has a meaningful impact on risk for major depression, and this effect is likely mediated both by parental depression and the continuity or disruption of the home environment. He acknowledges the things youre willing to do with him and for him, but he doesnt want what you have to offer right now. First thing that came on his mind is his relationship. Depression Depressed boyfriend broke up with me Follow Posted 4 years ago, 4 . And as their behavior changes with you, as well as with other people, you might start to fear the relationship is reaching its end. Along with that, the article will also suggest ways people might cope with a breakup.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[468,60],'psychreel_com-box-3','ezslot_24',102,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-box-3-0'); There can be many reasons why a person with depression might wish to end their relationship. My boyfriend broke up with me because of depression is honestly not the only excuse dumpers use. Dont let this impact how much you admire your partner, but also leave an open door for checking on each other. If anyone else dealt with this, what happened? How did things evolve for you? They might start to push people away, as a way to not hurt others, and that is when they might break up with their partners. Mine has less depression,(bizzare creative spurts of painting and playing the piano) but mood swings peaking into euphoria most of the time. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the. This COVID situation isnt helping at all, it changed our life and hurt our relashionship, as we cant visit each others and our daily life changed. I know that depressed people tend to push others away but I feel awful for leaving him in such a state. MBTI, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and Myers-Briggs are trademarks or registered trademarks of the Myers and Briggs Foundation, Inc., in the United States and other countries.Personality Articles Disclaimer: The articles listed under the Personality Category contain information from external sources whose accuracy and reliability is not guaranteed. He lost his mum, dad, and 2 best friends all in the space of 2 years. Im not sure why the counselor suggested that, but your ex needs to focus on improving his mental health now. A few days ago my severely depressed boyfriend broke up with me claiming i am much better off without him ..He wants to fight this battle by himself.. He's on strong medications .seeing psychiatrist .so he is getting help.. at the moment he's got his hand full helping him self..quitting smoking and alcohol all at once while working full . This doesnt mean that hes depressed and that the only way for him to be happy is to break up with you. I suggest that you talk to him only when its about the kids or something important. I never asked him not to be her friend just not to bring her up because it brought back a lot of trauma for me. Those are real friends/romantic partners. My boyfriend is suffering from depression and he has been in a really bad mood lately saying how nobody cares about him and how life is pointless and meaningless and things like that and he just broke up with me a couple of hours ago. I also gave birth 5 hours after his mum passed so I strongly believe he has a lot of emotions that hasnt dealt with. Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? Because our relationship is great. I understand he wants to work on himself and I actually think thats a good thing. If there is no-one you feel you can talk to, write it down. Before the breakup, he ghosted me for a week almost & told me he needs to think about things. Ill work and focus on myself in the meantime, and will accompany her through this dark tunnel, whether it is as her best friend or her boyfriend, ill always be there for her and want her to be happy. He has been diagnosed with Depression and Bi-Polar. Sometimes we have problems, and we need to have the knowledge and strength to deal with them. Affairs arent the only problems, she says. My (ex)boyfriend has told me he was depressed before we met and he has had dark thoughts ever since he was about 10 years old. Ask him if there is something else making him feel so down and low. Its hard to see that right now, but give it some time and youll see. In these situations, a talk therapist can be great. Hi Jeianne, Ive been going through this as well. You just know that relationship issues are making things worse and that you want to feel understood rather than ignored and annoyed. I recommend the Depression Fallout forum and the book Depression Fallout by Ann Sheffield. A relationship may be affected in many ways if one of the partners has some mental disorder. I am so stuck on thinking who he was just a short time ago and how he felt so lucky to have me to just withdrawing and wanting to be alone, completely. He's been very honest with me about his depression, or so I thought. Its what he needs to stop feeling the negative emotions he broke up with you for. If anyone wants to connect and talk through it together, I would love that because none of my friends have been through this before to really advise :/. He even apologized for the relationship being one sided that he was sorry for neglecting me for 2 or 3 weeks and would do better. Healthy dumpers tend to make excuses, blame their ex, or just explain why things happened the way they did. At some point, he started thinking If I break up with my girlfriend, I can finally start focusing on myself instead of having to worry about her problems. know what could happen for them to have a better relationship in the future.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'psychreel_com-portrait-1','ezslot_23',127,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-portrait-1-0'); This article showed why a depressed boyfriend might break up with their partner. You will also learn how to help your partner get over the dark phase and ways to reconnect and rebuild your relationship with him. Tracy Otto, 27, was on a second date with new beau Ricky Riessle when her ex Francpiero Del Medico, 33, broke in and found them asleep in bed, deputies said. I dont want to go out to date because that is simply wrong although I do feel the need to talk it is a dilemma. I know, for a fact, he suffers from a depression. Then the next day he messaged me saying he thinks he needs to go back to counselling and didnt know what was wrong. They can try to make you feel insecure about yourself and the relationship, and with that, the relationship might become co-dependent. This understanding does not help me to fill the hole in my heart though, so sad. When friends abandon you: What to do next? No arguments. All the best to all Depression Fallout sufferers. . It has been about a month of us being broken up. I apologize for being so frank, but people with depression dont just have problems with themselves. It makes you feel powerless with nothing helpful to say and do. It wasnt my first relashionship but it was my first long-distance relashionship, i was unsure back then how to handle one or if it was even possible to keep. But everything, all of that, vanished this Tuesday, 3 days ago. In Greek, anhedonia directly translates to without pleasure. It is a condition where one does not find anything interesting. My boyfriend of two months became very overwhelmed with events happening in his life that were out of his control. 3) Do depressed people go through the same stages of dumpers remorse as others? I got to know through his friends that he has now focused more towards religion & has also mentioned that relationships arent working for him at all. Whatever he does or doesnt do, dont take it personally and try to avoid finding out what hes doing. He decided that the best way to deal with smothering emotions was to get space from them and not deal with them at all. My emotions at present are like an R rated version of a Magic Eight Ball in the hands of an over-caffeinated child. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. I just dont know how to stop missing him and start to move on. Taking a temporary job he dislikes. I know thats what your emotions are telling you to do, but its not right. .Set boundaries. This should be your priority other wise your partner is going to make you anxious and force you to overinvest in him and the relationship. If your friend is going through a tough time with clinical depression, here are some of the best gifts you can give them: There are many ways in which you can take a step forward to solve the situation of unrest in your life. Be your partner mentally healthy or not. He told them "if it's not me, it's nobody else!" and sexually assaulted her with a pellet gun, records show . Very helpful is also storiedmind.com. But some factors may make it easier for a person to feel depressed. Hi there. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), I Cheated On My Boyfriend And He Broke Up With Me, My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me And I Want Him Back. Im doing no contact only when I have to speak about the kids etc but he blows hot and cold and accuses me of being uncivil. During our time together he wasn't really on medication, only when necessary. One of the most critical factors a person experiences in depression is lack of self-worth and excessive worry. Share your thoughts below. I told him I will wait for him while he works things out. Weeks go by and the pain hasnt gotten any better. Advice on a break with . And just to be able to know Im still the person he wants to be with. Her life was stressful everyday since then. She may think of herself as a burden and would want you to be free. One might experience stressors in their lives in the form of mishaps,tragedies and accidents such as death of a close one, experience of a natural disaster,divorce,abuse or social isolation etc.People who suffer from chronic diseases like cancer,neurodegenerative disorders may also show symptoms of depression.According to DSM-5 environmental pollutants could be a possible cause too. Depression is a mood disorder in which normal functioning of an individual slows down and may become null if left untreated. I really feel like talking to someone who is in the same shoes to feel better although I dont know if that would make both feel better. Be respectful, genuine, and careful. He couldn't explain much to meit was like, he didn't even know why he was feeling like this. During the treatment process, be supportive and understanding. If your boyfriend pretended to be depressed, you need to know that he used a very common Its not you, its me excuse. He fooled you into pitying him and leaving him alone so he could do whatever he wanted to do. Im going through the same thing. Its just happening to me hes been depressed badly and been blocking and unblocking me pushing me away hes told me hes drinking to much and needs to love himself but he loves me he has now again blocked me. Even if you cannot stay with your partner, please help them get proper treatment and medication. But it is important to keep in mind that, while dealing with depression, especially if he is not under treatment, be it therapy or medication, he might be experiencing intense depressive symptoms, and that is what is controlling their actions and behaviors right now. He said its been very difficult with his anxiety and depression and feels like he needs to talk to a therapist. After I got these thoughts out of my chest I knew I had to move on.I know I am doing all the right thing now I have exercised regularly; I have decided to get out of my bubble to get a job again to be involved with people/society; I have decided to refresh my wardrobe and look to feel good again about myself. Feelings of self-doubt and depression go hand in hand. I thought our love was stronger than this, its so crazy. You feel like your assistance was for nothing and that youre not good enough for him. Meaning, if you got depressed maybe your reaction would have been to reach out to him more, for comfort while his reaction is to withdraw. if your girlfriend is depressed, she probably may feel worthless about herself. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. In a study, full and half siblings at high risk for major depression, were compared with individuals raised in their home environment, those reared in adoptive homes (homes selected in Sweden for their high-quality rearing environment) had a significantly reduced risk for major depression. You have to make sure your husband/boyfriend is motivated to engage in day to day activities as well as recreations such as hobbies, games etc. This doubt is inescapable and much more pervasive than the normal worries most of us experience over lifes stressors. But if hes avoiding people, blaming himself, and missing out on sleep, then hes likely dealing with the real deal and needs a lot of understanding. To him, breaking up is a self-defense mechanism as he assumes that pushing you away will allow him to focus on himself and prioritize his emotional health. your partners mental health. He suffers from depression, and I believe to also be bipolar. We did not see much of each other face to face due to work schedules and because of the other things above. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'psychreel_com-netboard-2','ezslot_20',121,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-netboard-2-0'); It can also be that they start to affect your sense of security. Always consult your doctor about your medical conditions. Along with that, your partner can become controlling.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_16',120,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); This is something that usually escalates as time goes by, and its main focus is to remove the persons autonomy and independence. Everything went for the best, and we would travel to see each other during summers and winters. It really makes me mad because this probably only made it worse, she probably feel like she cant be helped at all and lose hope in any help, and it probably played on her mental health again since then. As the title suggests, my (ex) boyfriend who struggles with depression broke up with me. If you feel your husbands depression is no more tolerable and divorce is the only option available, do not leave them untreated in the mid-way. If your ex left you because of depression, you need to understand that hes not your ideal partner. I did see it coming, he has done it a few months prior this break up, too. He is an honourable person, he has strong convictions and doesn't make hasty decisions. Thank you Zan it helped me to see why he did not try to have a talk to get through issues first. What is important, when being in a relationship with someone that is struggling with mental illness is to be aware if they are looking for treatment, or are sticking to the one they are in. Hes just enjoying the space the breakup provided and is going to keep doing that until he stops feeling empowered by the breakup. I understand that sometimes depression can change the dynamics of a romantic relationship. When he broke up with me, he told me he couldn't be in a relationship right now and that he needed to be alone to figure his head out. But now he thinks it is unfair to me; that he is unhappy, therefore can not make me happy. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_12',117,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); And although sometimes they might not feel like their best self, a little support can go a long way, but again, keep in mind that not feeling good is something everyone experiences from time to time.