While You Can't Control How People Treat You, You Can Control How You React | by Spencer Sekulin | Mind Cafe | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. You can't stop them from happening, but you can control your reaction from making things worse. We hope that they inspire you too: A man has to learn that he cannot command things, but that he can command himself; that he cannot coerce the wills of others, but that he can mold and master his own will: and things serve him who serves Truth; people seek guidance of him who is master of himself. Every year, March 13th is difficult for me. "The excessive increase of anything causes a reaction in the opposite direction.". To put aside irrational thoughts and develop a plan to keep us moving forward. Make things happen, and then let things happen. The root of suffering doesn't come from what we experience, but rather from, You see, events occur throughout our lives that forever alter us, and it is. You can only change how you think, feel and act and lead by example." ~ Celestine Chua My forgiveness levels - I know life can be challenging sometimes, especially when things have happened that were deeply harmful and/or hurtful. But we have a say in what we do with our feelings. This past month certainly has not been fun. Keep a positive attitude and choose happiness and gratitude no matter what. But you have a choice about how you view it. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. Whatever it is, recall the experience as best you can and summon the emotions you experienced. And to prevent unnecessary overloading of medical professionals, emergency services, airlines, and other critical infrastructure, so that the people who actually need it can access it. Only then can you. When you cant control something in your life, its normal to become upset about it. Happiness is a choice you cannot choose what happens, but you can choose your reaction to it and be Happy. But, the woman who sent this email stood out not just because the quote was so appropriate today, but because she was so nice about the whole thing. Having said that, your attitude can determine how you react to all of the situations. Bill Belichick, At the end of the day, you cant control the results; you can only control your effort level and your focus. This leads to self-neglect, controlling, enabling, nagging, frustration, anger, etc. But we can follow his lead by looking for the "space" in our own lives. Now, I can hear you say: Tony, are you telling me to accept something I hate or dislike in my life. Yes, and no. 2. You might also realize that your parents tended to be critical, leaving you to believe that you always fall short. When suffering happens, it forces us to confront life in a different way than we normally do. Philip Yancey. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it. If you have employees, do what you can so they can do the same. | Napoleon Hill Foundation No one can make you feel any negative emotion fear, anger, or inferiority without your express permission. No amount of yelling at the TV will make it go away. 5. All you can do is change how you react to it. You have control over your own actions, your own well-being. Votes: 4 The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. And implement common-sense measures so that your employees and customers are safe: reduce face-to-face interactions as much as possible, grant generous sick leave, and limit the number of customers at a single time. Now, of course, we already knew this as we have received a barrage of emails telling us that fact with varying degrees of animosity. And many of the biggest companies in the world like Microsoft, Netflix and Airbnb were launched during an economic recession. And the above quote is incredibly wise guidance in these very areas. Abraham Maslow 265 Brian Tracy, We cannot always control everything that happens to us in this life, but we can control how we respond. Today, stop trying to control anything but yourself. We can't control external circumstances, the weather, other people and events from happening that we have no influence over. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Control Quotes An Inspiring Reminder of What We Can Control, Detachment Quotes & Buddhist Sayings on Letting Go, Tenacity Quotes To Inspire Persistence & Success, Inspirational Saturday Morning Quotes For A Fun Weekend, Profound Life Quotes To Inspire Deep Thought & Perspective, Cool Team Name Ideas Funny, Unique & Silly Ideas. If not, what was the reason? I don't believe in Fate. Self-discipline. This site is not intended to provide, and does not constitute, medical, health, legal, financial or other professional advice. Whatever your situation calls for, you will find creating space is an incredibly powerful part of becoming the person you aspire to be. Use kind words, and always think before you speak. We can try to control our thinking . They show up uninvited. Sometimes, for peace of mind, we need a little reminder of what is and what isnt in the realm of our control. So stop focusing on what happened and start focusing on whats going to move you forward. PostedJuly 23, 2013 But, what scares me is the human reaction to it and how people behave when the rules of civility and society are obliterated. Instead, make sure others know how to best handle the spread of the virus. When we remember this, we feel in-charge, empowered, strong and ready to take on the world. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down. You can always control your focus and effort, the two main things that lead to success. To prevent the unnecessary spreading of the virus. I can't control how people react to the work I do. In the end, the world is as you are inside. Please see our Privacy Policy | Terms of Service, About | Cookie Policy | Editorial Policy | Contact | Do not sell my personal information |Cookie Settings. On Epictetus's Dichotomy of Control. It may be difficult at first, but the advantages of non-resistance overshadow the effects of holding on tightly to a situation beyond your control. Do I qualify? In essence, we do not have much control, if any. The first step to learning to respond accurately is to control this urge. Learn, accept, explore, create and experience, every single day, one tiny step at a time. Reaction is a CHOICE and we must consciously cultivate the habit of reacting Positively. However how we react, what we think and what we choose to do is. Robert told us and then held me in his arms as I screamed, Thats not true! These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Controlling that beast, that dark side, is what fascinates me. Make them remote-access, if possible. Is it possible to choose your reaction to whatever happens? Instead of tuning out to avoid the pain, dealing with and even embracing tragedy and its consequences gives us an active role in guiding our own change and growth. Stretched carts & 6-seaters will need more than 9ft of wire, we can customize the length of Although most of us realize what we control and do not control, we live as though we do not really know, and in some cases we spend years focusing on things we cannot control. Spending time obsessing over the things you cant change only holds you back. Things will happen. Maybe it was a job you wanted or a new apartment or an item of technology. Focusing only on the things you can control in life will help you move forward and find success. We like reactions - a reaction is walking out on us, a reaction is throwing tomatoes at the stage, that's a healthy psychological reaction. It reminds me of the tale of The Two Arrows, in which the Buddha tells of a person being struck by an arrow which causes them pain. It would be boring. No amount of yelling at the TV will make it go away. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. A British expression characterizes any underhand or ungentlemanly behavior as "not cricket." The novelist Simon Raven subverted this idea when he remarked that cricket taught young people nothing. And so it is with you. If you do not receive our FREE daily email, sign up here. When life and liberty are on the line. But you can always control what goes on inside. We Can Control How We Respond to Things We Can't Control We Can Control How We Respond to Things We Can't Control By Laura Fenamore "When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." ~Viktor Frankl Every year, March 13 th is difficult for me. For instance, you might be impatient because you imagine failing to fix problems, and so you experience great anxiety. Spending your time thinking about the things you cant control will affect your mental health and well-being. Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D., is on the medical staff at the Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital Somerset in New Jersey. Suffering is optional. Meaning: unforeseen events will occur in life and we must avoid adding judgement because it fuels our suffering. People are depressed for many reasons, one of which I think is how we have been taught to react to trauma, to stress. Finding Yourself, March 1, 2023 Some of those choices include: We study Stoicism for moments like these. Change has become a dirty word in todays world; advertisers avoid it because consumers associate the word with challenge and difficulty. Required fields are marked *. Get outdoors if you're inside all the time. Cherish the people you love and the present moment, as scary as it is. You realize that you control your own destiny. When you accept what you cannot change, you save yourself a lot of energy and time, and can devote your time to better things than thinking about the situation you cannot change. A relational bond built on mutual control simply cannot produce anything remotely like safety, love, or trust. It was my sister Elizabeths 17th birthday and the day that my brother Jimmy, whom I worshipped, died. If you get sick, isolate yourself at home as long as symptoms remain moderate. We can work with this knowledge, to paraphrase Victor Frankl, to face the challenge of changing ourselves. In the darkest momentsfighting with my foster parents, for exampleI would say to myself, Stay strong for Jimmy.. Plug it in and turn me on. Author of The Simpsons and Philosophy and God Is a Question, Not an Answer: Finding Common Ground in Our Uncertainty William Irwin discusses the benefits of prayer for atheists and non-believers. Albert Ellis, You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself the height of a mans success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment And this law is the expression of eternal justice. All trademarks and service marks are the property of their respective owners. Imagine doing them and the consequences of this. Aisha Tyler, What we can control is our performance and our execution, and thats what were going to focus on. How Psychologically Conditioned Rats Are Defusing Landmines, The Most Important Part of Therapy Is Often Misunderstood, Compassionate Self-Awareness, A New Concept, 7 Ticking Time Bombs That Destroy Loving Relationships, The Single Best (and Hardest) Thing to Give Up, 3 Ways to Reclaim Your Hope and Happiness. And dont forget that for now our testing supply is sorely limited; do your best not to tie up the critical resource of COVID-19 tests, and avoid being a hypochondriac. It is not bound by what happens to you, because a person who is accepting of reality is free to choose their attitude. Unknown 135 Likes Humor quotes If you can make the switch, youll quickly notice that you become happier. Though I run this site, it is not mine. 1. "You cannot control the behavior of others, but you can always choose how you respond to it." Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart The following quotes about control help to remind us that we cant always control what happens to us in life, but we can control how we think about it, how we feel about it and how we react. Focus on self-care Emotional projection is often a coping mechanism that we use when we're feeling stressed, lonely, or overwhelmed. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Along those lines, dont tie up medical resources that you dont need. But we can control how we respond to the second arrow, which is fuelled by our reaction and judgement. No matter what happens in your life or the world around you, remember the things you can fix. Many struggles come as problems and pressures that sometimes cause pain. Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid for I am your God. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Alex Smith Control Me Simple React Survive Related Authors Ronnie Coleman , Kyrie Irving Stephen Curry , Jesse Owens Kevin Durant Simone Biles Info American - Athlete Born: May 7, 1984 Cite this Page: Citation Quotes to Explore It does not store any personal data. GET MORE FUN & INSPIRING IMAGES & VIDEOS. We can only do it for ourselves. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. When life and liberty are on the line. The smartest thing you can control in life is your reaction to whats beyond your control. 5. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. Victor Frankl. Make an effort to focus on the gifts and opportunities in your life, not the problems and obstacles. I am saying: We ought to accept things we cannot change, because sometimes we are powerless to do anything about it. All the more reason we should approach life without fear of failure. It's easy to do and say things in the heat of the moment that you regret down the line. Self-quarantine and self-isolate: if you believe you may have been exposed to COVID-19, stay in your home for two weeks to keep others safe. I understand this feeling. Are you going to experience adventure or are you going to be limited by your fears? 35:43 You can replace a meal with a snack. I love that! COVID-19 is here. Note that this cannot simply\n// be added to `.form-control` as it's not specific enough. They control the pattern of consumption, entertainment, thinking. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". Ultimately, life is not about trying to control others or external conditions because these things are out of our control. What matters is not what other people are doing or have done, but what, That means: Keeping up to date with the latest advice from the. I do worry about my family though. Dont touch your face, and cough into a tissue or your elbow. This freedom is not bound by what others say or do. ManageCamp Inc.9249 S. Broadway, Unit 200 - #331Littleton, CO 80122, 2014 - 2022 ManageCamp Inc. All rights reserved. Make them remote-access, if possible. But I knew at that early age that whatever the universe threw at me, I could at the very least control my reaction and my journey forward, out of darkness into light. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. To remain calm in the face of chaos. My other older brother Robert (I am the youngest of eight) broke the news to me and my three other closest siblings, Michael, Madeleine, and Elizabeth. You know what is the worst thing about being rejected? Sleep deprivation, hunger, and illness can compromise our ability to control how we react to triggers. You cant control everything in life, so wasting time on things you cant control has no benefit. But March 13th is also a time to reflect on what Jimmy meant to me, because although his death was a tragic event, it inspired me to choose a better life. Find a body of water like a lake or a river or an ocean, and just go sit there (weather permitted). Go somewhere different. If you're feeling down and out, change your environment. COVID-19 is here. The SPN is only telling you which sensor, the FMI will tell you the type of failure. For instance, you might not like your tendency to become quickly frustrated in difficult situations, wanting instead to be a patient person. When we forget this, it's easy to get lost in fear, negativity and a victim mindset - leaving us feeling powerless. Stoicism is a school of Hellenistic philosophy founded by Zeno of Citium in Athens in the early 3rd century BCE.It is a philosophy of personal virtue ethics informed by its system of logic and its views on the natural world, asserting that the practice of virtue is both necessary and sufficient to achieve eudaimonia (happiness, lit. So we can acquire wisdom from tragedy and danger. Taylor Swift, Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you dont. 7 Zoom Video Call Mistakes You Need to Stop Right Now, 5 Reasons to Come to Your First Brand ManageCamp Conference. He was a man from whom we can learn something about what it means to be human and how to be our bestsometimes in spite of our inclinations. A lot of times we" You can focus on the parts of your life that you can control, improving your future. In a similar vein, The Dalai Lama said, "Pain is inevitable. Yes, it is. And to prevent unnecessary overloading of medical professionals, emergency services, airlines, and other critical infrastructure, so that the people who actually need it can access it. Laura's Body Image Mastery programs are celebrated by thousands of women who have released their excess weight and reclaimed their self-esteem. You cant fix everything, but you can always maintain your attitude. No carelessness in your actions. He was gone, and my life changed that day forever. Dont be stupid. Breathe out deeply and breathe in again, this naturally calms the nervous system. It only distracts you from the many tasks at hand. What You Need to Know If You Obsess About Weight Loss, On Making Positive Choices for a Happy, Empowered Life, If You Hate Your Body and Think You Need to Fix It, Relationship anxiety/commitment fear or just not the one, Something I realized about my anxiety attacks, Someone called me ugly and my gf agreed (indirectly), One of the Most Freeing Things We Learn in Life, 30 Simple Mindfulness Practices to Help You Focus and Be Present, 8 Things Not to Say to Someone Whos Struggling with Anxiety, Nothing You Do Will Be Enough If the Relationship Isnt Right, How I Stopped Being Everything I Hated About My Parents, How Restrictive Diets Mess with Our Brains and Lead to Bingeing. 2. Dont waste your time feeling bad about the situation. Controlling (337 quotes). There are no right or wrong reactions, only what serves us and what doesnt. No one individual can accomplish this by themselves, but each of us, acting rightly, collectively, can make a big difference. But he observes that we don't need to accept such reflexive. You cant control how long youll need to engage in social distancing, but you can control if you spend that time productively. It can be hard to accept the truth when things dont work out the way you hoped they would. No imprecision in your thoughts. You see, it came from a woman who was reaching out to let us know that the email we had sent out today regarding Brand ManageCamp had non-working links. All we can really do is control what we decide to do. It could be a sensor or wiring issue. Mickey Rivers, You cant control where you were born, the family you were born into, what you look like; you cant control any of those circumstances. Remember that happiness is a choice you get to make. Imagine a better response: Think about better ways to respond. - Jeffrey Gitomer. The way we react doesn't come from our conscious decision, but rather from our instincts and learned behaviours. Think of a time you tried to control someone or a situation to suit you. Although most of us realize what we control and do not control, we live as though we do not really know, and in some cases we spend years focusing on things we cannot control. If youre interested in reading more inspirational quotes on similar content, be sure to check out: Short Pretty Words Comprehensive List With Definitions. Laurais a frequent contributor to First for Women, Ladies Home Journal, and the Dr. Pat Show. Long lines at stores only make things worse. The bottom line is: You are in control of your reactions to things and how you view things. I am struck by how casually we as a nation react to the carnage in Iraq. Justice. Instead, we ought to accept conditions as they are and change our perception of what is. Steve Maraboli, I dont have any control over what actually happens except for that I have full control over my will for myself, my intention, and why Im there.