Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Get Mommy Shorts updates sent directly to your inbox! He had fallen back asleep. My mom always tells the story of when she was in labor with my sister, on Thanksgiving Day, and somewhere around 20-so hours of labor my dad ate a full Thanksgiving dinner, turkey drumstick and all, right in front of her. After like 2 hours I called to have him tell me he didnt feel good so he was taking a nap, and that he was sure I could handle our daughter on my own. What will you do if you're away or home sick but the baby needs to go to the ER at night because there is something serious going on? He will not only miss the labor, but likely years of your child's life due to alcohol related disability or death. When the guy on the other end asks so, how are you doing? because he probably heard my whimpering/low moaning in the background, my husband replies well my wife is actually in labor and were on the way to the hospital I think the guy on the phone call was speechless at first, and then smartly ended the conversation so my husband couldI dont know focus on driving through the blizzard and getting his wife to the hospital!?! Im sorry if you do not want to hear this but someone has got to say it instead of ignoring it. Our son was born in the morning. However, this might not be a good decision, ever. I have pictures to prove it. I Just know I need someone calm and sober with me when labor starts, not someone with booze breath. You will have to work together, as a team if you want to come out of the situation. This will help you keep them out of trouble and save you from embarrassing situations. What happens if you have an emergency at home one night and your husband is drunk? Now, I love Firefly, but I will forever associate Captain Malcolm Reynolds saying I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you with the start of the worst pain of my life. When she left, my husband says to me, very sweetly and earnestly, Ive had many epidurals, and I just want you to know, it doesnt feel ANYTHING like a bee sting. I beleive that 4th pregnancy has got to be my last. Bern is a Gen X, child of the 80s. Finally after I frantically run around the church for a few mins he calls back in which I tell him get all our pre packed bags and carseat ready to go Im on my way home she is in labor, we lived 4 hours from the birthmom. Or a little bit of both? My husband also told me at one point that hearing the doctor give me the episiotomy sounded like someone cutting raw chicken with scissors. I tell everyone this story and will never let my husband forget it! Call a sibling or a friend and have them be at the ready to bring you to the hospital on the off chance your husband decides to booze it up with his co-workers. Labour won't "sober him up" and make it safe for him to drive. Okay tell me when we need to go so I can shower first, he said. Around 4:30 Sunday morning, I start pushing. I wish men weren't so stupid about some things. Her husband waited nearby but outside the birthing room. The next contraction, I look over to see him asleep. Remember, youre not to be blamed for their habit. He went home to sleep in our bed so he could get some rest. Every birthday growing up I heard about the stupid thing my Dad did when I was born. Once we got to the hospital, though, he was great. Not sure of this counts but after I had the baby I realized I forgot to pack underware so I told my husband to bring me a pair. In his sleep. His father had to leave the room because he felt like he was going to throw up.saying It looks like hamburger meat. A woman seduces her husband at Halloween party and then finds out he switched costumes with someone else. Because, he was a little bit tired. Alcoholism is a serious addiction that can affect both the addict and those around them. I dont thnk so, Omgi cant stop laughing at the thong.Im in tears here For example, someone might have a problem with drinking but deny it to themselves or their loved ones to avoid admitting they have a drinking problem. The following morning,he woke up very early and went to work! Holy fuuk. Drinking several drinks a night to "unwind" after a hard day at work on a regular basis is indicative of a dependency. Reach out to rescue them only when they seek out help. This, my friends, is truly a gift. Woo hoo! They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. We got to the hospital at 5 pm. If it's 5 hard drinks every night I would say that's a bit excessive to unwind. I would also say that 5+ drinks make a person more than "buzzed." After 30 hours of labor, it was time to go to the hospital and my husband informs me that he needs to run across the street to get his hair cut and I have the number if I need him. I have been with my husband for 10 years, married for four, and he has a drinking problem.We met in our early 20s and started our relationship long-distance.I relocated to the UK and we moved in . She told you how big he was going to be. Both those incidents still come up at family get togethers. to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. I went home, took a shower, fed the cats, and came back a few hours later to strange looks from the nurses who cared for my baby while I was gone. Theyve been divorced almost 20 years and she still holds that one over him! (I don't think he would like that job much!). Rachell, I was in labor all night and ready to go in the morning. He then goes home and sleeps on and off for 10 hours (in between bouts of explosive diahrrea) while Im at the hospital with our first newborn daughter, ALONE. Prodromal labor can last all day and into the night before stopping for a few hours. My daughters dad (who fortunately I had the good sense never to marry) kept his distance from me the last month or so of my pregnancy, which probably is what kept me from delivering in prison, but he wanted to be at the hospital for the birth. , around 2% of adults globally have a drinking problem thats over one billion people! He didn't drink for the majority of my pregnancy, but then went out to a work function and came home wasted (he was driven home by a coworker). My darling husband looks at me tenderly and askes So, when do you want to have the next one? 48 hours of 7 to 10 minute contractions and sent home from the hospital twiceyeah, I almost punched him in the face. I sincerely wish you luck this will not be an easy road, but I hope you both find the strength you need for the sake of your baby. When I was in labor with my second, I waited at home until I couldnt stand it anymore because I didnt want to be in the hospital for hours in labor like I was with my first. Or even if it wasnt, theres still a little bit of schadenfreude involved isnt there? Thanks. Imagine youre married to an alcoholic husband who drinks daily and beyond the limit, only to create a nuisance later. Who knows..just having a baby may wake him up and realize that there are more important things to stay sober for. As he was putting the needle in my back, my husband let out a loud snore and the dr laughed. Ive got girlfriends who pretty much just lay it all on the table. Hes only a casual race fan, btw. Money was scarce. So not only did my husband eat an Indian take-away while I was in the throws of labour, he told me my hair looked a mess. Hubby went home to get a good nights rest the night I got induced. So, they may play the trick on you. You know, because that is how alcoholism works. I was on the bouncy ball for a half hour waiting and then went to check on him. God bless my daughter for sleeping/ nursing her way into this world. He took my concerns seriously and that is the important part. Stand with them and help them overcome it. For this pregnant mother, her escape was playing bingo. Luckily, I had the exact opposite experience . 1.) Dont come to me saying look what your child did. It is always our child. So I called him to tell him to hurry and get there. It was our first child. Second baby he was pretty good, except for when I would have a contraction (went through natural labors each time, no epidural, very little IV medication), he would look at the screen and say wow, that one went off the charts! and I would say you dont have to say that each time, Im going through it! He normally goes to the pub every Friday, not too late. Its like, my mother went through this, and her mother before her, and, well, basically every woman who ever gave birth went through this & got over it, unless it killed em, so Im going to sit here and appear mildly concerned on the surface but secretly bemused that Im not in your position right now, and knowing, with modern medicine the way it is, that youre going to be all right soon enough, and even lord it over me eventually in the same secret way I enjoyed your suffering. Try to apeal to the protector in him and let him know how much you need him there. Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! Just have a back-up plan ready so you don't need to stress about himmaybe a family member lives close by? And please feel free to add your husbands own egregious efforts below. Exercise can be anything that gets the heart rate up, such as a long walk. You'd like to get my newsletter! She all but collapses into my arms exhausted to the point she couldn't even walk to the bedroom. Bud Grace And Frankie Weight Gain . Haha Im going to have to share these stories with my boyfriend so he knows not to mess up next time. If it were me, I would tell him in no uncertain terms that if he wants to be there that he has to be 100% sober. So when my mom showed up to help out, hes so busy talking to her that Im having to hit him in the arm every time a contraction came so he would rub my back the only thing I asked him to do (hard back labor). Another call revealed him sitting at home, eating a sandwich, and checking on his World of Warcraft real quick. lol. Then she told me to leave. Im late to the party but here is a story for you These are all hilarious and I feel lucky that I do not have a funny story to write. I want to know how old the OP and her H are as well as the ages of some of the responders who are so sure their H's will slow down the boozehound behavior closer to their edds. I dont find I get the opportunity to maintain the rage nearly as much as I once did. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! Here are 10 ways of dealing with an alcoholic husband: Wondering how you should be dealing with an alcoholic husband? Well when it was time for my epidural, my husband went home to take a quick shower and grab a bite to eat! Your H has a serious drinking problem, you enable him, you are having a baby who will be left alone with this man, and all you are worried about is getting to the hospital? It was league night, after all. After reading through all of them (and seriously, YOU SHOULD READ THROUGH ALL OF THEM, the thread might be the best thread ever), I have one question What about the phrase 9cm dilated makes men feel the need to abandon their unborn children to buy a sandwich??? Diagnosing alcoholism can be difficult because it often goes unnoticed by family and friends. Awww come on, suck it up. My contractions are 1-2 min apart at this point. My brother and father arrived at around 10pm and my brother volunteers to go out and get some food for my husband. (More on my adorable new nephew later this week.). In some cases, there are no signs. So say he is out for a work meeting until 6, and he had 2 glasses of wine. OP is due very soon with her 4th child - her second with her husband - and he's rarely at home. Unfortunately, real life doesnt always abide by my blogging schedule and sis gave birth last Friday night! My husband fell in a deep sleep and would not wake up to me calling him. However, you can convince them to set certain limits to how much they should be drinking. I woke up at 2 am when my water broke, shook my husband awake and told him. Okay. After our first they were sewing me up from some tearing. I'm all about unwinding with some drinks and depends on if its hard drinks or just 5 beers. You probably will NEVER be in that much pain but if you are, I sincerely hope you remember what you said! The biggest sign that the bloody show has occurred is you may notice a bloody mucus discharge from your vagina. He happily, obliviously goes back to work. -Stephanie, My husband started throwing up while I was pushing. I think you should talk with him about this (perhaps a counselor as well if talking to him alone won't work? With my first I called my then husband to tell him my water broke, he asked if I could drive myself to the hospital so he didnt have to leave work. I think I may have got lucky! and my water broke at 2am so I tried calling him to tell him to come back. Look up the options available to you, enlisting help if you need backup, and have a hopeful, serious plan ready so there's no excuse for him to say no. When I told my husband at 2am that it was time to go to the hospital, he said, Oh, not tonight, I have a headache.. I know the baby could come anytime now but I can't really worry too much about it or it will just make me worry more. Ouch. -Jessica, My husband unabashedly complained about a canker sore while I was in labor. Remember, youre not to be blamed for their habit. Suffer. So if he wont agree to give up the drinks then you should have someone as a backup coach that can stand in for him. We have the ability to maintain our rage and hide it away for just the right amount of time so it can be released with maximum effect at precisely the right time. for fear that he would pass out. I had read a list of what to pack on a baby website. -Katie. This isnt a birth story, but rather sadder. A few hours post-surgery I started having a strong adverse reaction to the epidural which included profuse sweating, intense itching and hallucinations. The only place open nearby is Popeyes. https://americanaddictioncenters.org/alcoholism-treatment/spouse, https://www.verywellmind.com/things-to-stop-if-you-love-an-alcoholic-67300, https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/alcohol, 5 effects of living with an alcoholic husband, Dealing with an alcoholic husband: 10 ways. I just looked at him and siad Seriously!?! She gets anxiety from any surgery, so her anxiety was high. So, while I was practically under our bed from being doubled over in pain, looking at his watch, he said, I think you need to be more in tune with your body.. Soon enough he gets a call from his mother asking how the delivery is going. Speak to them when theyre sober and discuss setting a limit to it. When my DH was starting up his business last year we were going through huge financial stress he would often have 2-3 beer over a day. I said the baby is coming now. With my second I was in labor through the night, his dad kept asking if he could go home to sleep because I didnt need him there, he missed his bed and the hospital staff was disrupting his sleep. Not during labor, but our almost 10 pound baby ended up in the NICU for low oxygen saturation. Now, no matter how many babies you have given birth to, you still never quite remember the feeling of going into labour until it actually happens again. You all left 237(!) I made breakfast. When I was in labor with our son my wife was AMAZING, a true hero. He arrived at the hospital with an emerald ring to give her..because after all, it was Mothers Day, and I was born in May. I finally woke him up to help me time them, since they were getting more intense. At 7 am, doctor broke my water. Yesterday, my husband got drunk at his family's cookout. This can lead to further problems such as depression, anxiety, and social withdrawal. How pregnant: 41 weeks, 2 days. Good grief you have issues. The *only* reason I left the room when she was in labor was to go to the bathroom. Supporting a woman in labor is an incredibly exciting and important role. Im shaking because of the epidural so I get no sleep, and hes snoring and well fed. Yay, transition! It's not good. This classic, tell-tale sign of labor can appear as a big gush, or it can happen in a slow, light stream. So my dad went bowling. I couldnt reach my call light, or my chapstick to throw at him, and he wasnt responding to me whisper shouting at him. When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. It will make the recovery process much easier for you both if both of you work together towards the same goal. 8 Signs You Are Married to a Controlling Wife & Ways to Cope, How to Deal With Gaslighting in Relationships in 15 Ways, Narcissist Couples What Happens When a Narcissist Meets a Narcissist, What Revenge Tactics You Can Expect from a Narcissist, 5 Ways to Handle Marriage With a Narcissist Wife, How a Narcissist Changes After Marriage- 5 Red Flags to Notice, 7 Effects of Being Married to a Narcissist Ready Reckoners, 15 Signs of a Histrionic Narcissist in a Relationship, How to Make an Anxious Avoidant Relationship Work: 15 Ways, 15 Signs of Narcissistic Parents-in-Law and How to Deal With Them, 15 Signs of a Clinically Covert Narcissist Husband, 10 Ways to Deal With Your Husband Not Wanting You, 5 Ways to Fall Out of Love After Infidelity, 15 Subtle Signs Your Husband Resents You & What to Do About It, 10 Pros and Cons of Getting Sole Custody of a Child, 10 Tips to spend the holidays when your marriage is in crisis, 10 Reasons Staying in a Marriage Without Trust Is Hard, Treading Carefully: Getting Back Together After Separation, 3 Ways Separation in Marriage Can Make a Relationship Stronger, 10 Things You Must Know Before Separating From Your Husband, 12 Steps to Rekindle a Marriage After Separation, How to Combat the 5 Glaring Effects of Anxiety After Infidelity, How to Have a Trial Separation in the Same House, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to Get Back Together After Separation, 6 Ways to Tell if Someone is Lying About Cheating, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages, 20 Signs of a Married Man in Love With Another Woman. I mean PISSED. Thats when I had to rouse him. Its not a movie wherein things change quickly. I told my husband in the morning that I had been in labor most of the night (he slept through it). Youre not to take it and should face it with confidence. These are hilarious! We keep quiet about it, yet are both so in tune with one another, we know exactly the minute something is up. If you can't reach your doctor or midwife, go to the emergency room. Put together a back-up plan now because none of this is acceptable (not his drinking, buzzed driving or your calling his parents to essentially tattle on him). When I called him an hour later because I was 9 centimeters he said he was at Sams buying Tupperware. You really, really need to talk to him about this habit. Must have been all that digesting he was doing :S. Im currently being induced in 9 days, my husband actually says hes going to stay home for the fucking dog! I don't know if this has impacted on the way I hold my emotions, but I tend to really bottle everything up until it all becomes too much - even then though it's VERY difficult to communicate any angst or anything that's bothering me. It sounds like you and your H are both in denial (as apparently are a few other posters on this thread). My son is adopted but we were able to be at the birth. It was one of the biggest events in . When they told me at 3am to come in, he just asked, do you NEED me to drive you? He still occasionally takes a beer, glass of wine or a rye down to the office when he's doing paperwork, but occasionally is the key word here. Someone needs to tell them it is not helpful to say things likeHere we go. and This looks like a big one.. She thought she had just peed her pants, but it kept happening everytime she stood upso off we went to the hospital, and she was definately in labor. I was in delivery with my second child in 12 months. LOL, you sound like my wifes ex. I get all the credit for being an awesome stepdad and none of the crap over what got screwed up during labor. These are hilarious! Individuals with alcoholism may have a number of behavioral and emotional characteristics, including a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. He was about 4 minutes from the hospital but after 20 minutes he stillhadnt shown up. -Lois, I was fully dilated after 18 hours and my husband said you think you can hold out pushing until I grab some breakfast?-Sarah, My husband grew this ridiculous goatee and wore a shirt that said TOERAG on it, so he looks ridiculous in all the photos. However, this may all change come December when I'm giving birth to our first child. When he stopped drinking for a month, we conceived right away. My husband was behind me holding me up while I squatted when a nurse looked at him funny and said You dont look so hot. When I was born my Dad was on a fishing trip. I was asking in honor of my pregnant sister (aka Dr. B) and planning on posting some watch-outs for my very nervous brother-in-law before the big event. I stop on the way home to fill up the truck and he calls me back asking if I was serious or if this was just a trail run to see how fast we could get everything readyOMG its not a test this is the real deal! Pleaseselect whether I bother you once a day or once a week. Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. Sept. 28, 2016. Published: May. Were going to pop some bottles the celebrate the twins arrival. He said that it was probably nothing and I should try to get some sleep. I went it alone and met up with him after surgery where he was holding the baby smiling, refreshed and relieved. Have you thought about what your day-to-day lifewill be like? She had yummy ice chips and broth. So, there will be relapses in the process, but you should keep on trying. "When I [give] with just with my doula and midwife alone, I can allow myself to do whatever is needed to get the baby out," she says. Pet Behavior. Maintaining a positive mindset and a hopeful attitude can be difficult at times when you are dealing with an addiction problem. Third, I would look into more long term plans on how to unwind after a long day at work. Im so fed up that I almost want a divorce. Labor was a piece of cake until they broke my bag of waters. In the throes of that hell my husband turns to me and says, Im about to head out and meet up with the fellas. The nurses were advising and waiting on him. My doctor walked in while he was talking, looked at me still laying on the delivery bed, and told my husband he should probably take care of that later. One 2013 study, found that even . Im 38 weeks pregnant so after a couple hours (10:30pm) I went inside with my 2 yr old, only to come back down to him still drinking and now smoking hookah with his brother, male cousins and 3 young thots that showed up. Its evident that you are stupid man and you cant fix stupid. After I threatened to divorce him 75 times, he finally asked for directions and got his pregnant wife to the hospital still pregnant. When it comes to how to live with an alcoholic husband, try not to make any major decisions without getting input from your spouse or partner first. If my DH drank that much regularly and refused to stop he would be on his own. My experience is pretty tame compared to most of these! Braxton hicks are most often painless or at the worst, uncomfortable. Second, that is way to much drinking for a regular basis. Sandals and flip flops are not recommended, especially if a situation arises where you may have to go into an operating room. Second, how important is it to your husband that he be at the birth? Every year, nearly 9,000 women in the U.S. go into labor and, unable to make it to the hospital, have an unplanned or unattended birth at home or in the car on the way to the hospital. He went inside to chat with the guy who worked there while buying cigarettes and chips before finally coming out to pump the gas. I've tried explaining this to him, but he really thinks he deserves to unwind however he wants since he works so hard. Whos really stupid? Its real life, and you mustnt give up so easily. My nurse thought he had the flu. Can he be trusted to take care of your LO when he's drinking that heavily? We were on our way to the hospital by 6:30am. When the July 14, 2012 due date of Gainesville, Florida resident Melissa Hoh came and went, her husband's friends told him about a news story they'd read in 2006 about three women going into labor . Get on the same page, then bring up how you are afraid alcohol could affect that. They can give you tips and suggestions on dealing with an alcoholic husband and the challenges that can arise during the recovery process. How do you know he will take you seriously if you tell him you are uncomfortable with the amount he is drinking?